And yet again, here we are.

Well folks, the reality of renting a farm has kicked in again and I am totally stressing. I just finished our chalkboard planting calendar and the husband and I finally figured out our plans for the garden and then I get a text message. This lovely text message reminded me that I needed to write more cheques for our landlord, no biggie until I saw that he only wanted them until May. I began to get this gut feeling something wasn't right and so said I could write the cheques but was wondering if we were still able to continue renting after our lease ended in June as we had verbally talked when signing our lease and where told we could stay until our youngest was all grown, it was the stability we needed as we have moved so much in the last 8 years and I was desperately in need of a stable home for the kids and the farm. Well anyways my response back was that rent would have to increase $350 and they would have to consider it as they have put so much into the property (the new septic). So now I'm sitting here my anxiety kicking in with every thought in my mind going to I planted 57 fruit trees, we worked the old pasture fields for two years in order to get the water table where it needed to be for a good produce corp, we fenced the yard, we planted bushes and 200 bulbs of different flowers, I finally broke down and put the kids in public school and I got a we would consider?
I have 9 children, the word consider is not something you want to hear when you've worked so hard to get where you are on almost nothing. What is there to consider? I pay my rent on time and have never been late, I take care of the property and fix a lot of minor things without even bothering the landlord, I deal with water shortages (like major shortages) in the summer and have never complained that only one person can bathe per day and laundry can't be done on those days, I don't complain that the house leaks like crazy, instead we bought a bunch of caulking and deal with the $600+ propane bills per month.
I know I am rambling but I need other potential renters to know unless you have some magic horse shoe for luck, renting a farm is like a game of Russian roulette. You can work your ass off and then one day for no reason be told yep lease is up you have to move and I guess if you didn't have kids it might not be as bad if there were actually farms for rent out there but that's the thing they are few and far.
So now my kids have made friends, they enjoy going to a public school and now come the end of the school year, I currently don't know what is next. Even if I say yes to the rent increase the word consider rubs me the wrong way, like why couldn't he just tell me straight forward what is happening, its the plight thing to do.
I searched the net this morning trying to find something in Ontario, something that would fit our family and give us a good area to work, but there is nothing. Its really hard to find a home or a renter that is willing to give a family of 11 a shot and I cannot purchase. Sometimes I wish I grew up a farmer or had family that farmed that would pass the business down to me. We have learned everything on our own, which has been hard enough and now it just feels like all the money I have put out on implements, tractors, caging, fencing, and everything else was just a waste. All my dreams are beginning to vanish so quickly and there is nothing I can do but continue to hope, pray and downsize more then I ever have. I cannot afford to move loads of implements, nor can I afford to move all the items we have accumulated over the last three years.  
Hoping for some kind of miracle, but I guess we will see.